Why we were on hiatus for three months

There's no T1 access in Mexican prisons

We got really really caught up in the "33" on Rolling Rock bottles

Too busy deleting our .mp3 collections

Our three published articles already got us a metric shit-ton of groupie action

Took a few months off to follow The Wiggles on tour

Played Civ, the board game. Once.

We were creating our own gay-themed pirates movie when those fuckers at Disney beat us to it

Got little cuts on our typing fingers that just wouldn't heal

Obsessive-compulsive disorder requires us to follow each permutation of Choose Your Own Adventure to its conclusion

Answered some spam for penis enlargement and couldn't walk for two months. BTW it doesn't work

Lost the password. Finally remembered that it's password

Three words: Iraqi provisional government