What Bush will do if re-elected

Decide what to do with the other two wishes

Add a gunrack and those nudie mudflaps to Air Force One

Something you won't even suspect till the commandos bust through your skylight

Make Rowling tell him how Harry Potter ends

Legally change his name to "the George Bush that had two terms"

Be firm with Cheney: demand that he be allowed to stay up till 10:30 now

Load up Winnebago, follow Widespread Panic on tour

Learn to his dismay that, no, he's still the 43rd president, he doesn't get to be the 44th, too

End War on Terror; declare War on Teller

Fire the neocons and let the religious freaks have their turn in power

Try to get his face on that mountain with all the faces on 'em, like Washington and Taft and stuff, Mt. Saint Herrings, in Nebraska

Claim Teresa Kerry as his own as written in the Code of Komdor

Introduce the Protection of Adorable Children and Church-Going Families and Also Stick Michael Moore's Bulbous Ass In Prison Act of 2005

Broker a lasting peace in the Middle East, eliminate poverty, and establish diplomatic relations with Boo-Beeker, King of the Cabbage-Pixies

See if it's possible to have sex with Disney's animatronic himself

Have two kids with Natalie Portman, get his head all scarred up, start wearing the black helmet